Hunger Games. . .Not

I know it may seem like the popular thing to do, but I cannot help but weigh in on the Hunger Games. My daughter, the middle school teacher, bought the book and began reading it to me on the two hour drive between Jefferson City (where my dad has been newly installed into a nursing home) and our home in Lee's Summit (food for another blog). After about a chapter, I made her stop. I couldn't take it. Children selected at random for "games" that seem nothing short of the days of gladiators. . .a dystopian future, destroyed by nuclear or some other kind of war, where the US is carved into districts and Denver. . .repeat. . .Denver is the capital? Enough already. I hated it. I know. Everyone, including my daughter, and my 50 year old brother, LOVE the book. I did not. I am not much on futuristic fiction anyway. . .the future is scaring enough without authors imagining how it will be. . .I prefer my fiction murderous, cozy, and in the past.

Exhausted AGAIN

It's March 22. As the parking garage attendant reminded me today, "miss, it's not the 21st. . .that was yesterday. The first day of spring." Wow. Of course, the nice lady at the National Council for History Education who handed me a free parking pass is to blame. . .it said March 21st. But, really, the whole experience is sort of a metaphor for my life. Seriously. I am SO tired and so busy. How could spring have gotten here? It's completely lovely in KC this year. The redbud and dogwood are in bloom, already. It's at least a month too early. But, it's lovely. The grass is a foot high. And, there's dad's yard. . .the conference. . .school. . .grading. . .housework. . .Legacy job. Park classes. WW classes. Even looking at the list wears me out. I CANNOT wait for spring break!

Exhausted

How can I be SO tired on a Tuesday? I felt like crying a dozen times today for no particular reason. My class has embarked on the Gilded Age project with after just 2 days a very mixed review. Some students are working diligently, finding websites, organizing the work, creating a shared google doc, blogging...and others are blowing it off. I suppose this is not uncommon. Students used to blow off opportunities to research in the library. Trying to keep them focused is a challenging task.

And, my desk. It's overflowing with paper. I cannot, and have not been able to for several years, get a real handle on the paper. One would think in this digital age that much of the desk paperwork could be eliminated and I guess it has, but my desk still seems to spill over. I am about ready to start a filing process that consists of putting everything into a file folder with a label! ACT scores, scholarship information, stuff for new school, etc., etc., etc.

New Year Reflections

I am not big on resolutions. I make them. I break them. Sometimes on the same day. That said, I believe that reflection is important and something that I think we could do more of. These reflections are not meant as black and white statements of what I will and won't do, but rather as thoughtful reflection about what I should do, what I must do, what I want to do, and what I want others to do. I have decided to break them up into categories. . personal, professional, home, and family.

I begin with personal. I know it sounds pretty selfish, but I would like 2012 to be a year for and about me. . .I cannot take care of others if I do not take care of myself. So I hope to do a better job of watching what I eat, concentrating on


Personally,

a) taking a salad each day for work
b) eating less red meat and processed foods
c) eliminating dairy. (My mom and dad told me that as a child I was extremely allergic to all things dairy. I think perhaps that my system is still sensitive, more so than I have listened to in the past.)
d) drinking 8 glasses of water each day
e) getting 7 hours of sleep each night
f) walking 10,000 steps each day
g) refraining from using my credit cards and paying with cash
h) reading a book about health each month, starting with Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease by Esselstyn, tweeted about today in a Time.com piece about former President Clinton and his new vegetarian regime
i) drinking only red wine, 5 ounces per night, as recommended by heart specialist
j) taking my blood pressure medicine each day
k) eating breakfast every morning
l) going to Mass at least once-twice each month at St. Margaret's
m) reading all of the Newberry award books
n) reading a biography of each American president, excluding Washington, Adams, Jefferson, and Lincoln, which I have already read.

Professionally
a) recommitting to communicating with teachers in the building
b) getting into the teacher's classrooms, a different teacher each day, to observe, comment.
c) following up the visit with a comment to the teacher
d) finishing my master's degree
e) continuing to read professionally
f) attending 2-3 workshops on topics including special education (and I hope) the ISTE conference in San Diego this summer
g) becoming a stronger advocate for the teaching staff, especially with the administrative team. Sometimes, I let myself be bullied or pushed into cooperation without time to reflect on HOW our decisions impact teachers or HOW we could be more collaborative
h) continue to connect with people in the diocesan school office as we look toward the building of a new high school
i) work on Ipad deployment for 2012-2013 school year, helping teachers make the best use of 21st century technology and tools
j) commit to getting student papers back into their hands within 1 week
k) commit to quality lesson planning and wide reading
l) continue to develop strategies to improve the teaching of my AP US History course
m) pray with my students each day, bringing to them stories from the news that are about peace and justice
n) finally reading De La Salle's biography

Family
a) being more honest with my kids and husband about what bothers me
b) asking the kids to text me each night when they are away from home, telling me they are safe and who they are with
c) being more proactive about Bill's alcoholism, refusing to cover or hide
d) helping my dad as I can without feeling guilty when I cannot
e) sending my dad an email each day about things we are doing and what is going on in the family
f) take more pictures
g) go to church together
h) prepare an evening meal for the family at least 3-4 times each week
i) go to a movie with someone in the family at least once a month
j) encourage the kids to make more healthy life decisions and to be with people who make good decisions
k) talk with Matt more, via email, text, or whatever means I can use to get him to listen
l) try and not let my brother Phil get under my skin because of his resolves not to "take on other peoples' problems", etc.
m) work on being less envious about Phil and Sue's situation and more thankful of the positive things in my life
n) remember to keep family first
0) refraining from giving Grady table treats

Home

a) get deck repainted and repaired
b) get door jamb on outside door repaired and repainted
c) clean out garage (throw away!)
d) paint! (downstairs, Becca's room, my room, ceilings, upstairs bathroom, kitchen
e) cut back the rest of the shrubs
f) fix drawer in kitchen
g) buy new washer, dryer, refrigerator, and dishwasher and maybe stove (yeah, right)
h) fix Becca's downstairs toilet
i) get flooring for Becca's bathroom and for entryway
j) fix fireplace
k) replace windows
l) never go to bed with the kitchen looking a mess
m) reorganize utensil drawers
n) buy George Foreman
o) buy toster oven, although I am not sure hwere it would set, must measure
p) vacuum each week
q) dust each week
r) ask kids to keep their rooms up, go through closets and throw out what is not being worn or used (starting with mine!)
s) do the same with the cabinets and drawersjavascript:void(0)
t) buy a really good set of cookware. . .and not charge it. :)
u) buy more plates and bowls from Fiesta ware (that match) and not charge it

OK. There they are. . .thoughts, resolutions, to do lists, priorities.

Post Christmas

I'm getting ready to take Dad back to Jefferson City to his assisted living apartment with, of course, very conflicted feelings. Part of me just wants him to move up here. I realize that would take some MAJOR adjustments in my lifestyle and commitments. I am already OVER committed. Could I manage my own stress and that of my family with an additional member? Of course, driving to Jeff City every Saturday has it's own version of stress. And, having Dad here might take some load off of my brother who has plenty on his plate.

As my dad likes to say, "everyone wants to live forever, but no one wants to get old." How true. We, as a society, are not ready for the demands and the needs of our rapidly aging population. Of course, how old age looks in 10 or 20 years will be quite different as the baby boomer generation complete with Ipads and cell phones and electric cards becomes 70, 80, and 90.

Christmas

It's Christmas Eve. I am always nostalgic about the holiday. As most of us do, I remember Christmases past. Pajamas from Grandmother Wright. The Missouri cedars that we used as Christmas trees until Mom protested and we got a pine (and then Phil met Sue and we got an artificial one). They were so fragrant (and prickly). The "kitchen cabinet" Santa brought me Christmas Day evening, made by my dad's friend, Jim Clark. The lights on Anchor Mill in the shape of a star. Christmas pageants at school Singing Hear Comes Santa Claus as a local boy dressed up as Santa distributed bags of candy, nuts, and oranges to the excited kids. Midnight Mass at Sacred Heart, bringing Connie and then Kenny with us. Turkey for dinner. Friends, family, love.

I always wish at this time of year for the Big Christmases that I hear others talk about where all the aunts, uncles, and cousins get together for food and games. Thinking back, though, that was not a part of my childhood either. We lived far from our cousins, aunts, and uncles and it was always us, plus my two grandmothers.

I love Christmas. Or at least the idea of Christmas. When the kids were younger, I would get so stressed by the expense and the busyness of the season and although there is still some of that, I am able to enjoy the holiday a little more. I miss the little ones with their excited anticipation, but this is nice too. Three young adult children who can share in the season. My dad is here, too, and that is nice, although it is bittersweet as well.

I made some gingersnaps today. I don't think I have made any gingersnaps since high school home economics where I made enough to feed the 11th Army. A post by my friend Vicki gave me the idea and turned out to be delicious and they filled the house with a delightful aroma.

I'm nervous about the new year. I have no idea what will become of us really. I'm not sure how we can deal with Bill's job loss and with my dad's increasing fragility. I'm trying to stay positive, something that is generally easy for me, despite teasing from my brothers and others about my pollyanna nature. I'm trying to prepare while being positive.

My class of AP US History is going well. I'm enjoying the technology I'm using and every day I read blogs and tweets that challenge my thinking and improve my teaching (I hope). I get envious of some of my twitter friends. . .Angela Cunningham who has her course so organized that it's almost unbelievable and the other teachers who seem to be able to inspire critical thinking with their creative lessons and high expectations. They challenge me each day to be better.

Patron Saints

On a blog I follow, the author talks about her "patron saints". I decided to think about that and I have come up with a tentative list.
Winston Churchill whose eloquence gave hope to a beleaguered people.
Abraham Lincoln who grew into the moral conviction that slavery was wrong and the Union must be preserved.
Harry Truman who said what he meant and did what he said.
Maran Wright Edelman whose passion for justice and children inspires me to never give up or in.
St John Baptist de la Salle who inspires some of th best teachers I know.
Amela Earhardt who followed a dream.