Random Thoughts

It's St. Patrick's Day, 2015, and my birthday is tomorrow. I cannot believe that I will be 60, provided I make it through tonight. As I have gotten older, especially these last few months, I've been thinking so much more about my parents. These memories are bittersweet, of course. I'm also on spring break and it's been a relaxing one so far. I had an interview yesterday at St. John LeLande, which I think went well and presents challenges and questions. For some reason, I was researching mixing bowls this evening and discovered a set I want to order. I love to cook but hate the mess, interestingly. But, these bowls reminded me of my mom. My current set is one that my mom bought for me and, of course, that made me miss her even more. And, it is a reminder that I have to get my shingles shot, which I promised my mom I would do when I turned 60. Of course, I would rather be shot than go to the doctor weighing so much...more work to do! I guess that's the point...life is always there, presenting us with challenges and questions. Embrace it and move forward! Here's to the next 60. :)

Reflection on Loss

We received word today that the brother of a student was murdered in Kansas City, Kansas. Few of the details are known, but it made me think. There are at least three of our current students who have lost a loved one to violence. One of our assistant principal's nieces was murdered many years ago in a small town in Kansas and my sister-in-law was killed by her husband. That's a lot of violence and I teach in a small (300 student) Catholic high school in the midwest. What are other families and schools enduring in other areas? Violence is not confined to inner city streets or rural midwestern small towns. All of us are affected by violence. How can we reduce reliance on violence as a solution to our problems? I grew up in a gun owning household where my dad owned guns of every size and type. A part-time deputy sheriff for Miller County, he had a gun that he routinely carried when he worked that job. He was a bird hunter and had a few shotguns. My brothers grew up learning to shoot but I didn't care that much about it. My sister-in-law is a gun owner and both of my brothers have collections. So I am not anti-gun. But. I do believe that easy access to weapons has made it much easier to solve disputes with violence. And, I don't just blame easy access to guns for the rampant violence that threatens my security and santiy. Video games glorify violence as do too many of the songs and artists that our young people admire. The lack of social service support for segments of our population leads to an uptick in the number of domestic assaults. The free and open internet makes violent images instantly available. We routinely (it seems) watch henious violent acts against journalists, soldiers, and others by terrorist groups in the Mideast and elsewhere. I wish I had an easier answer. I wish it troubled more people that images of violence and stories of loss make up much of the day to day reality for hundreds and thousands of people. Simply turning off the television or turning away doesn't solve the problem. Our leaders grapple with so many tough societal issues. Solving these issues will take determination, sacrifice, commitment. We cannot leave our children their children a legacy of violence. Too much is at stake.

Things I've Learned at the AP US History Reading

For those of you who are "unfamiliar" with the world of AP, I am currently in Louisville at the AP US History Reading which means that I have joined 1400 of my closest friends to read about 1.4 million U.S. history exams. It was a spur of the moment decision since they only called me on Wednesday of last week. I have always wanted to attend so that I could learn more about how to help my students do well on the exam and now I am here. So I have learned (so far) 1. That I really, really, really miss my family 2. That I will never again complain about grading my students' essays. Today, alone, I've graded 200 exams. ARGH. 3. That I cannot sleep in a bed (I need my recliner) 4. That no matter how bad my students write, they write 10x better than any essay I've read so far. 5. That this experience is something I should probably only do once. 6. That AP US History teachers are a terrific group of people, passionate about their subject and their students. 7. That Louisville is an awesome city with lots to see and do and that I don't really want to see any of it or do any of it. 8. That my family can survive just fine without me (for a while). 9. That having a roommate is not as much fun as it was in college (although she's really nice) 10. That I need to walk more. 11. That feeding 2000 teachers requires food that is not necessarily delicious (although it's filling). 12. That AP teachers really, really enjoy the cocktail reception. 13. That AP US History is being "resigned" and that we better teach our students to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE. 14. That I love my hometown of KC. 15. That reading student papers for 8 hours a day is NO FUN. 16. That I likely have ADD as I cannot sit still.

Memorial Day, My Mom, Facebook, Daughters, and other thoughts

I have always loved Memorial Day, maybe a little less now than I did as a girl. As a young girl, I accompanied my grandmother and dad as they took flowers to the cemetery for what grandma called, "Decoration Day." Sometmies, we had as many as thirty containers of flowers, mostly fresh picked and kept in the refrigerator. Grandma had these white cardboard containers that she would fill with irises and peonies, keeping them in the refrigerator if they bloomed early. I have tried to keep up the tradition in greatly reduced fashion. I went to Tuscumbia on Saturday and in the pouring rain put flowers at Grandma and Grandpa Wright's graves, my mom and dad, my dad's baby sister who died in 1919, the same year that he was born, Uncle Bob Marshall and Homer Clay. I met Connie at the cemetery and we had a great lunch at Eldon, enjoying catching up on our lives. She's been my best friend for as long as I can remember and when I see her it's as though we haven't been separated for weeks or months or years but days. As for the rest of the weekend, it was all right. The girls have been fighting and that always upsets me. However, as I knew they would, they made up over pizza and beer. Every time they fight, I despair thinking that somehow I did something wrong, treating one differently than the other; and, every time they make up, I relax, thinkig that maybe I did everything all right after all. I have thought a lot about my mom this weekend, too. She died six years ago yesterday, May 25th. In some ways, it seems like it was just yesterday...and in others, it feels as though it happened eons ago. I think of her often. Mostly, I wish that I had been closer as she grew older. We talked almost every day but in some ways she remains an engima. She was a private person, exceptionally so as I reflect back now, and I realize now that there was a LOT I didn't understand about her. I think I'm a little more transparent, more like my Aunt Betty, perhaps. As I grow older, my fondest hope is that my girls fall in love and live in Kansas City so I can be there for them everyday...going to the kids' soccer games, celebrating every birthday and school play.

I love this quote from NCIS.

I love this quote from NCIS. It's one of my favorite episodes, featuring McGee, Gibbs, Vance, and the North Korean agent Khi. "Anyone can achieve their fullest potential. Who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of other to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed, but it can be challenged. Everyman is born as many men, and dies as a single one."

Finding a Job

It's an open secret that I have been seeking a new job. I don't WANT a new job. I love my current job. In fact, I think of it not so much as a job as a way of being. I love teaching. I love working with kids. I love the people with whom I work. I love my Celtic family. I love everything about it. And, yet, I am looking for a new job. About three years ago when we heard that the dream of a new Catholic high school in eastern Jackson county might, indeed, become a reality, I decided with my good friend, Lori, to go back to school and earn a second master's in education administration, something that would presumably qualify me for carrying on in my role as assistant principal at O'Hara when it became St. Michaels. I loved going back to school, although now as I think about it, I can't really see why. My dad was sick, I was driving to Jefferson City every weekend, I worked part time at Legacy and I still had a full time job. But, Lori and I persevered and by the fall of 2012, we both had earned our masters. I applied for the job of principal at O'Hara when Dr. Redd left and was frankly quite relieved when the search committee gave the job to John O'Connor. Last year, for about two weeks, I applied for a principal oeping in our diocese at St. John LeLande. I had second thoughts after hearing that another long time elementary principal was interested in the job, someone who I did not know very well, but someone who had my respect. So, I withdrew that application and carried on at O'Hara doing what I love to do. And, now it is a year later, and the uncertainty of what is happening at O'Hara and what will happen at the new St. Michael's has many of us scrambling and reviewing our resumes. O'Hara is closing at the end of next year, in May of 2015, and the new school is opening. The school is the dream of Bishop Finn and John has been named the new principal. He's made it clear that he would love for me to work with him at St. Michaels and I would love that too. A new building, a sense of adventure, a new vision and mission, yet deeply rooted in Catholic values and tradition. But, I do have a principal's certification now, having paid $500 for the test and I think that I would like to try being a principal on my own. It's scary. And, a part of me would much rather remain right where I am, but right where I am is not going to be the same after the move to the new school. There will be immense challenges, attracting new students, developing a curriculum. And my biggest worry is that after all of that work, and the building of a new school, that the students won't come. There are few feeder schools in eastern Jackson county and the Lees Summit schools are among the best in the state. St. Michael's tuition will be at least what OHS tuition is now, some 7500. And, lots of folks can't afford that, especially when they are happy with their public schools and their parish school of religion programs. And, so I worry. I trust that there's plan for me and so I wait, praying for insight and courage.

Reflection on Teaching

Perhaps it’s because our school is closing, or perhaps it’s just my age, but I have become increasingly reflective about teaching as an art and vocation. Tonight I listened as Lisa Fox delivered the NHS induction address. She had been invited by the students because of her passion and amazing enthusiasm and I was proud to have been her teacher and to be her colleague. I remember Lisa as my student. She was bright, quiet, and passionate about learning even then. Somehow I didn’t remember her contagious enthusiasm for life that manifests itself in every hello and hug. She has a talent for making every student feel valued and cared for and I remember that her passion for kids is why I, too, became a teacher. Teachers are never happier than when one of their students who suffered through American Government or AP US History becomes a teacher; it’s how we live on, it’s our legacy as teachers. And, as I listened to Lisa’s talk I thought that she is speaking to students who will one day becomes teachers and she will have played a role in their decision and then, they, too, will teach students who will teach others. It’s a form of immortality and in so many ways it is quite humbling. Thank you to all of my friends who teach. Know that you are doing God’s work and nothing is more important. Thanks, Lisa, for reminding me of how important we teachers can be, and for helping me remember why I became a teacher in the first place