Friendships, Work, and Summer

It's been an interesting couple of days for exploring what it means to be a friend and to have a friend.  Last night I got to spend some time with people that I don't get to see enough on a regular basis, Todd and Kathy Magwire.  I still feel so badly for what happened to Todd at O'Hara, and I often think that I didn't do enough to impact those decisions.  I knew in my gut at the time that he was a victim of an ouster campaign that had very little to do with the actual incident; but, I was ultimately powerless to make any real difference.  I often think that if I had said X or done Y, that perhaps there could have been a different outcome.  That opportunity has passed me by, but it has made me more aware of those other opportunities that I should speak out and stand up.

I so admire the way in which Kathy stuck by and for him.  And, I hope that he is right in his conviction that God has led him to a different place for His own reasons.  I have been having my own challenges of faith and I admire people who can stick to a conviction even in the face of difficulty.  Last night, too, I learned more about another friend.  I knew she was a woman of deep faith and conviction; but, I hadn't heard her express it with quite so much conviction before.  I, too, believe that faith in God and faith in the church are two different kinds of faith.  Since humans make up the church, it is reasonable that they make flawed and sometimes hurtful decisions.  It's hard to distinguish sometimes between the two...but, as I listened to Mary, I found hope and heart.  Thanks, Mary.

And, I learned more about friendship and mothering today.  Someone made a comment about my son, a hurtful, mean-spirited comment.  And that someone passed the comment along to him.  It's just a comment, but what we say and how we say it always makes a difference.  I think really that mean spiritedness is never random or unintentional; it always hurts, even when said in the heat of a moment.  And, so, I have always urged my kids and my students to think before they say something that they can really never take back.

Words matter.  The way we speak and what we say makes a difference.  Words can heal and they can hurt.  Pay attention to what you say and how you say it.  I know that I will be more conscious of my words, reflecting on the lessons of these last couple of days.  Thanks, friends, for teaching me what it means to be a real friend...once again...and for valuable lessons that I still need to be reminded of.