Still Learning

I'm 57.  But, I swear this week I felt as though I was back in high school.  17 and unsure.  I re-learned two important lessons this week... 1) gossip is ALWAYS bad and 2) rules are rules... Lesson 1 comes from my primary job where I was reminded...again... that gossip is gossip and is almost always hurtful....that people will respect you far more for what you do than for what you say...and that what you say can be misinterpreted and isn't easily forgotten, once its said.   And, yet, as I was reminded, we of the human condition are quite ordinary and fallible, prone to stupidity, ignorance and self-aggrandizement.  And.....lesson # 2 from my part time job where despite giving 110%, upper management chose to focus on what I wasn't doing, instead of on what I was doing....


So, in addition to the reminder that I'm still learning about how to act, I am reminded that listening is perhaps the skill that I need to work on the most.   A passionate listener is something that we all long for when we are talking, but it's so much harder to be that person, the person who listens with all of her heart and mind...who engages in the conversation...who puts the to do list on the shelf for a bit...who pays attention to the speaker and doesn't focus on the million other things that vie for attention.


I feel myself pulled in a million different directions.  It's as though when I am at work, part of me is worrying about the kids or my dad or the bills.  And, when I'm home, I'm worried about my colleagues, my to do list, my students, my content.  So, part of trying to commit to being a better listener is commiting to simply BEING THERE wherever I am.